According to a recent job posting on Craigslist, “the creator of the Townhouse Hotel, Bond Street, Bardot, Buck 15, Sra Martinez, and Miss Yip” (I’m assuming that means Amir Ben-Zion) is opening a new restaurant on the same block as Bardot (which is on North Miami Avenue, between 34th and 35th Streets in the Midtown/Wynwood neighborhoods).
While the restaurant, called Gigi, has not yet opened its doors, we can all appreciate the beginning of the full-court PR press. Here is the very best passage, perhaps the best single paragraph ever penned about a restaurant:
“From the futuristic Blackberries with which the waiters text your order directly to the chefs, to the monastery-&-kibbutz-style communal tables set as nowhere else in town, to the content driven art on the walls and the earth-conscious stark design. Gigi is an industry innovator.”
My brain hurts just trying to understand what “content driven art” is or why they’ve been stealing tables from monasteries and kibbutzim. Lots of angry Jewish monks are going to be standing outside Gigi with pitchforks.
Anyways, please feel free to post your translations from PR-speak into English in the comments below. And also, please let me know where I can find a futuristic Blackberry. I’ve been typing emails on a literal blackberry. My fingers are stained purple.