According to 18 U.S.C. 1702 (Obstruction of Correspondence), it is a federal offense to steal another’s mail. But since MRPR doesn’t receive any mail, desperate times call for desperate measures. Therefore, so long as you promise not to tell, I’ll be pilfering the mail sent to the Miami Herald’s restaurant critic, Victoria Pesce Elliott, and providing my own opinions (sometimes dissenting, sometimes concurring). This will continue until I receive a cease-and-desist letter, which would at least be some mail directed to me.
First up: Virginia in Miami wants to know who makes the best fried chicken in Miami (originally received: July 20, 2010).
Dear Virginia,
The best fried chicken in Miami is made at a mom-and-pop restaurant called Publix. If all of the Publixes go out of business tomorrow, then go to Joe’s Stone Crab. The rich people at Joe’s are subsidizing the cost of your fried chicken so it only costs six bucks or so.
Sincerely,
–Ryan @ MRPR
(As for VPE’s answer: Popeye’s, Michy’s, Joe’s, Mahogany Grill.)
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Dear Ryan,
Who makes the best Mediterranean song-bird in Miami?
-Frank
Dear Frank,
Sedano’s makes the best Mediterranean song-bird. Super crispy. The best part is its tiny, charred larynx. Please pick one up for me next time you’re there.
Thank you,
–Ryan
Frank, what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Consider this a cease and desist.
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